I''ve written about
Compassionate Detachment
before
in the YIN Cleansing Beliefs.
I give a thorough description in my books.
Basically,
Compassionate Detachment is
Caring for a person while not allowing their
disrespectful behavior to affect
you
emotionally, mentally (focus) and
physically (performance).
This can
be tough to do when the person
disrespecting you is a family member or
someone who you thought was a
friend.
Often, when we become more successful in
our lives,
the very people we expected to
Cheer us on are the ones who fail to
acknowledge our accomplishments.
When this happens, a flurry of emotions can
rise in us:
Anger that our success is being ignored.
Sadness that
the person we love does not
want to share in our celebration and joy.
Fear that our continued success will cause an
irrevocable distance in our relationship.
It
can also cause us to start
Doubting Ourselves,
wondering
if we're really worthy of what we've
achieved. I believe this is the
Underlying Motive
of the person who refuses to give another her
just accolades. A desire to create
self-doubt
in the envied person.
This motive
may Not Be Conscious.
So, how do we keep ourselves on track and
moving happily toward
more success in the
midst of jealous people?
By remembering it is Not About You.
This
is where the Detachment comes in.
The person refusing to give you credit
probably doesn't give
others credit either.
This is not about You and Your Success, it is
about Them and Their Feelings of their own
Lack of Success.
To
them, Your Success is like a
Blinding Neon Sign Blinking:
"You're Not good Enough!"
to them. They
are Comparing.
Comparison can be used in a healthy way to
help improve or it can be used in unhealthy,
unnecessary competition.
I use Three Wisdom Principles when I experience this
Lack
of Acknowledgement:
- Jealous People Don't Want to Give You Anything - even a Compliment.
- People
can only Perform at their Current Level of Self-Awareness.
- Help them Rise Higher by Giving
Them a Compliment! Teach by Example.
This allows me to Detach from their behavior
while
remaining Compassionate toward them
as I feel empathy for them that they are still at
this jealous,
comparing level of awareness.
When you really SEE them where they are
emotionally and spiritually,
it moves you to
wish more for them.
People change.
This same person
may be different in five
years. Don't give up on loved ones b/c they
currently are at a different awareness
level.
You may need to take some physical distance
from them for your own emotional
and focus
needs. But keep them close in your heart.
Send them Love.
Thank
them for teaching you
Compassionate Detachment.
The more Successful You Become...
the
More You'll Need It.
With Much Love,
Vicki
